Making the Love Reconnection

Feel disconnected from your spouse? Take these steps to reconnect.

Ever feel like you and your spouse are two ships passing in the dark? Between work, chores, and caring for the kids, you have little time to truly connect. You see each other briefly during the morning rush and a short while in the evening between dinner, helping kids with homework, putting the kids to bed, and watching the television, but it’s not enough time to share your heart, talk about life, and feel close.

When life gets busy, it’s easy for your relationship with your spouse to take a back seat. While this may just be a phase, if it lasts too long it can be dangerous. Make your marriage the priority it should be with these steps to reconnect.

Date Night

It goes without saying that date nights are a great way to connect with your spouse. Line up a babysitter or find another couple that would like to take turns watching each other’s kids while the other couple goes out. Once a week or once a month, make date night a priority.

Remember that dates don’t have to be long or cost a lot of money. Go out to eat, take a walk, go shopping together, or drop the kids off at grandma’s house and watch a movie together in bed. The point is to spend quality time together, just the two of you.

Turn off Electronics

It’s nearly impossible to connect in a meaningful way when you’re both staring at a screen. At a set time each evening, make the commitment to turn off all electronics in the house. If that’s too hard to do, think about making your bedroom a screen-free zone.

Same Bedtime

You may be a night owl and your spouse an early bird, but try to find some middle ground several nights a week to go to bed at the same time. The kids are in bed and the laundry can wait until tomorrow. Take the opportunity to spend a few minutes alone with your spouse for verbal and/or physical connection.

Do Something Thoughtful

Miss seeing your spouse smile? Each day plan to do something that would make your spouse happy. This could be unloading the dishwasher, bringing home flowers, making the bed, or serving a favorite dinner. Serving your spouse in little ways reminds him or her of your love and commitment.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. – Mignon McLaughlin


Don’t let a day go by without talking to your spouse in some meaningful way. Carve a few minutes out of each day to communicate about what’s going on in your lives. How was work? What’s on your mind? Why are you stressed? What are our plans for the weekend? Actively engage with your spouse and show interest in his or her life by asking questions.

Life is never too busy to remind your spouse of your love. Even if you don’t say it out loud every day, take the time to hide a love note in your husband’s briefcase or send your wife a text telling her you love her.

A Daily Touch

Many people’s love language is physical touch. This means they feel most loved through hugs, holding hands, kisses, and sexual contact. Each and every day make it your goal to affectionately touch your spouse to show your love. This could be a kiss before leaving for work, a hug when you get home, or snuggling on the couch while you watch a movie.

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